Making Resonant Choices

For many, being productive means doing more. Finding life hacks or creating efficiencies so we can cram more into each day. Wow, sounds great, right?!? I don’t know about you, but my experience is there’s ALWAYS more to do regardless of how efficient or ‘productive’ I am.

Sound familiar? This was my life for far too long. I’ve since had a mind shift. I no longer view being productive as doing more. Now I view it as getting done what I have determined is most important to me. What is most resonant, if you will. And no, this is not being selfish. It’s being intentional and honest about who I am and what I need to be my best self. And yes, chocolate and naps are often part of my equation.

To be more precise, I now define productivity as how fulfilled do I feel at the end of each day.

I started playing tennis when I was in high school and still enjoy playing for fun. I love when the ball hits the racquet just so.

It makes the perfect sound. I can feel the connection. For me, it’s the total sweet spot. It has a sound. It has a physical feeling from the racquet up through my arm. I have an internal feeling every time it happens.

This feeling is so clear to me that even when I’m not playing, I can conjure up the feeling. I can hear it. I can experience it. I feel in total alignment. I feel strong yet relaxed. I feel powerful and in control.

That’s the same feeling I strive to have at the end of each day. But the only way to have it is to make intentional, value-driven decisions that are resonant to me and to be in tune with how I feel as I proceed through my day.

My daily goal is to reflect with satisfaction about my day. After 7 days, I’ll have had a fulfilling week. Then a fulfilling month. See where this is going?

When I’m in my golden years, I’ll look back and know I lived the life I wanted to live. And the same can be true for you, too. Let’s explore what fulfillment and resonant choices mean to you and how to make them part of your every day.

Resonant doesn’t mean easy or perfect or good.

You know the feeling of sore muscles after a good workout or long hike? How about the feeling of working a long, hard day but finally having a breakthrough? What about the satisfaction you feel after working long hours on an important project? Even being up all night with a sick child can be a resonant choice.

Resonant choices aren’t necessarily about being happy. Believe me when I say I was never happy being up in the middle of the night with sick kids but I did feel a sense of calm in my body and mind knowing my kids felt loved and cared for at that moment.

Please know this does not mean every minute of every day is all sunshine and rainbows.

There will be days that we have no control and we have to let go. There will be frustrations. There will be days when we have to make difficult decisions. We will have to take a stand for what we need rather than neglect what our body is telling us so as to not make waves.

Honoring yourself will be the reward and you will feel it to your very core.

Nope, life won’t always be easy, but it will be resonant.

Why is this important, you ask?

You can DO all you want, but if there’s no feeling of payoff, success, or celebration, day after day of just doing can lead to burnout, resentment and regret. And that, my friend, is no way to live.

But here’s the thing. Nobody else can define what resonant means to you. This isn’t externally validated. There are no rules to follow or shortcuts to take. There is no right and there is absolutely no wrong. What is resonant to you is yours alone.

This is both a liberating and scary thought. It can be really hard for those of us who want to make sure we’re on the right track or want to do what’s ‘right’ or want to please someone else.

Nope, it’s not measured like that. It can only be measured by you.

It takes time. It takes courage. It will require you getting quiet and tuning in…really listening. You will then need to take action to make change and this is where the magic happens.

If you’ve ever watched a professional tennis match, you’ve heard the sound of the sweet spot I referenced above countless times. That’s because the professionals have dedicated their lives to the sport. That’s what it takes to hit that sweet spot every time…practice, practice, practice. Making resonant choices regularly is no different. It takes practice, practice, practice until it becomes second nature. Until you live and breathe it.

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. I’ve created this resonance exercise to help you start this inner journey.

Use what works for you, discard the rest and reach out here to share your experience. But most importantly, enjoy the ride.