More thoughts from a recovering perfectionist.
Can you relate? Are you a recovering perfectionist too? Maybe you’re still tethered to the thoughts of perfection thinking just a little more time and it (I) will be perfect.
I first wrote about being a recovering perfectionist over a year ago. You can read the original post here.
I distinctly remember when I was young(er) and getting started in the working world. My instructor was guiding the class on writing a resume and prepping us for how to interview.
I was struggling with answering the question ‘What is one weakness of yours?’. I wasn’t alone being stumped by this question. A number of my classmates felt the same. We weren’t being arrogant. In fact, quite the opposite.
I don’t know what was going on in the minds of my classmates, but for me, I couldn’t fathom telling a potential employer about a weakness I possessed. We were told to answer the question by stating ‘I am a perfectionist.’
What?!?
For one thing, I didn’t see perfectionism as a weakness at the time. Oh, the naivety of my youth.
Fast forward a number (ahem) of years. What my younger self didn’t know was perfectionism is actually a form of procrastination. It’s also a saboteur that in the name of protecting us, is actually holding us back from being our best self and achieving great things.
It keeps us from trying new things for fear of failing.
It keeps us from approaching life through the lens of curiosity.
It keeps us stuck in a fixed mindset.
It robs us of opportunities.
Even though I have awareness around this saboteur, it still has a nasty habit of sneaking up when my defenses are down and planting its message when I’m most vulnerable.
If that weren’t bad enough, I not only listen, but I start believing it. Yikes!
I was going to say let’s banish the word ‘failing’. But I realize banishing it isn’t the answer. Instead, let’s embrace it.
One of the lessons I learned early in my coach training was
F irst
A ttempt
I n
L earning
What if we stop fearing and instead, start embracing failing? What’s possible then?
Remember, we all crawled before walking. Adults even think it’s cute when toddlers topple. When did failing stop being cute? Boy, are we hard on ourselves.
Not only is this message timely for me as I embark on new endeavors, but it’s also a good reminder as a new school year begins. If you have students in your life, I invite you to remember that with a new school year comes trepidation, excitement, and quite possibly, some fear of failing for those youngsters. Please be gentle.
And for all of us who are students of life, let’s treat ourselves as kindly.
If you are afraid of taking that first step into something new for fear of failing, let’s do this together. Reach out here and share what you’re avoiding for fear of failure. I’m happy to encourage you and root you on as you take your next step.
Until next time ~ enjoy your journey.