What is your relationship with time?

I’m sure you’re familiar with the term time management.

I’ve also heard we can’t manage time.

True, we can only manage ourselves and what we do with the time we have.

It’s a lot like being in a relationship.

Have you ever been in a relationship thinking you can fix, change or manage the other person? How’d that work for you?

I imagine no different than trying to ‘manage’ your time. You can only manage yourself. What better month than February to explore our relationship with time.

As someone who coaches others on spending their time intentionally, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to spend my time.

At the end of the day, literally, it comes down to how I feel about how I spent my time. In my experience, where there is feeling, there is a relationship.

Which of these relationships is most relatable to you?

Clingy – Always wanting more. Never getting enough. Are you trying to fill every minute and never feeling like you have enough time for everything on your to do list? Being consistently busy is often a way to avoid.

• What are you avoiding?

• Are you asking too much of yourself and what you hope to accomplish in your day?
  

Open – (no judgment). Perhaps you have an open relationship with time. Your calendar is completely open. You think this means freedom, but without structure, time passes and nothing you deem important is completed at the end of the day.

It seems ideal…freedom, no commitments, wide open, anything goes, but it’s less than satisfying when all is said and nothing is done.

Love/Hate - never completely satisfied.

• Do you waffle back and forth between too much to do one day and the next completely open with no idea what to do?

• Do you love being super busy or having lots of free time then feel overwhelmed or bored?

• Are you designating time for what’s most important instead of letting whatever comes up sneak in and steal those precious moments, hours, or days and then feel resentful?
  

Healthy – This is the type of relationship we all strive to achieve.

• You blocked out the appropriate amount of time to show up for the most important commitments and people in your life.

• You made time for work, rest and play.

• At the end of the day, you place your head on your pillow feeling fulfilled.
  

I’m by no means an expert on relationships, but I do have a pretty healthy relationship with time.

Here are my thoughts on 3 important components of any healthy relationship.

Commitment – A healthy relationship requires you to show up even when it’s hard or you would rather avoid. We know full well, not showing up doesn’t change anything. It only prolongs the agony and maybe even exacerbates it.

In relationship to time, this means scheduling what’s important and then doing it.

Space – A healthy relationship gives space to each party.

In relationship to time, this means not scheduling back-to-back obligations constantly. It means leaving some breathing room between commitments and meetings so you can take a breath, regroup, grab a bite to eat or take those necessary bio breaks without the added stress of being late or running behind.

Room to grow – Growth is necessary. Without growth, there is stagnation, boredom, and dissonance, but it is different than space.

In relationship to time, I can’t stress enough how important it is to leave wide open blocks of time and see what comes up. This gives you an opportunity to

• be proactive in responding to the unexpected.

• say ‘yes’ and be spontaneous.

• daydream, try something new, take a walk, a bath or a nap if that’s what you most need.

If you want help making these changes, reach out to me here.

I wish you a very long and happy relationship with time.

Until we meet again ~ enjoy your time.