How to make time for what’s most important to you.
It has been an especially busy month getting together with family and friends. Most connections under happy circumstances, but some in sadness. Many in person and some online. Whew…it’s exhausting and took time, but I’m not complaining.
As I reflected on each of these relationships, I realized what is required to nurture each bond. They are alive, but not by chance. They take time, effort, energy and attention.
Every relationship, whether business or personal, requires investment. Because we all have limited time and energy some relationships can suffer.
Sound familiar?
I get it. It happens, but what if you don’t want it to happen?
Here’s a visual reminder that may help.
Are you familiar with the Rock, Pebble, Sand Method? Every time I share this, someone has an ‘Aha’ moment.
Grab some rocks, pebbles, sand and a clear jar.
Now, imagine the rocks are what are most important to you. Your absolute, non-negotiables. You can even write the name on the rock to really solidify the visual.
Imagine the pebbles are important but not as much as the rocks.
Then there’s the sand…so much of it that it creeps everywhere and you’re constantly finding stray grains. It’s not important at all. Each grain is small and, of itself, inconsequential, but many grains together…now you’ve got a mess and it takes up lots of space. Did I mention it creeps everywhere?!?
If you fill the jar with the inconsequential sand, there is no room for the pebbles, much less the rocks in your life.
Have you ever chosen to run errands over meeting a friend for coffee?
Have you chosen to clean the house instead of plopping on the ground to play with your child?
Are you regularly too tired from working too much that you skip working out? Yes, you have to nurture your relationship with yourself too.
TIP: A quick way to spot sand is if you hear “I’ll quickly finish…” or “Just one more minute while I…” Many things we can do ‘quickly’ are sand.
You have to put your rocks in first. Then you add pebbles, as time and energy permit. Once you have accounted for all that is important to you, then you sprinkle in the sand.
Yes, you’ll still run out of time, but not before you have done what is most important to you.
What are you choosing to put in your jar first?
I have clients who keep their jar on their desk as a reminder of what’s important. It’s a great visual for relationships but can also be used whenever you are trying to determine what is most important.
I encourage you to name your rocks, pebbles and sand. Who or what is most important right now?
Recently, a colleague/mentor of mine passed away unexpectedly. People from all over the organization chimed in to say how generous with time and knowledge Sandy had been.
She was a force of nature. Sandy was direct but never mean. She had a good, solid laugh and was always happy to help. Sandy was a volunteer extraordinaire! If Sandy was in the room, it was more likely than not you would exchange at least a few words with her. She made everyone feel welcome and was such a positive impact on many of us.
As we each struggled to accept this news, it was suggested that in her memory, we each reach out to someone with whom we had lost touch.
We were encouraged to reach out to a more recent connection and tell that person what it means to have met them.
We were encouraged to go up to someone we do not know and make a special effort to make them feel welcome as Sandy would have done.
These recommendations make my heart happy in a time of sorrow. They are an excellent reminder to connect and reconnect.
I am grateful beyond words for my friendships. Some newer than others, but all special in their own right. Yes, they take time and effort, but it is time and effort that I willingly and joyously spend.
My friends and family are my rocks - literally and figuratively. I don’t remember ever looking back on a day and wishing I had spent less time with someone important to me.
What role are you playing in keeping your most important relationships alive and nourished?
Go ahead. Pick up a rock - whose name is on it? And, might I suggest, you do as Sandy did and be the first to reach out.